i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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