It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
