I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
