Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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