matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
