I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
