If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
