At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
