my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
