is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
