I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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