Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
