you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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