i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
