I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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