I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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