I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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