i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
