wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
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Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
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I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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