Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
