Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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