I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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