it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
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Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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