dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
