don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
