just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
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One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
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In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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