Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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