How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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