giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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