I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize