You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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