So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
