U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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