my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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