You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
