I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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