Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
