Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
