so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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