Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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