I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think a kid would responsible me up
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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