how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize