There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
