from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
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he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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