I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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