Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
