she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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