Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
