Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
