i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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