she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
