DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
