i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
