ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
