I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
