I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
