so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
