Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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