haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
