Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it was like eating out sand paper
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
