we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
