i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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