make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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